tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post8725723968191174650..comments2024-01-27T23:26:35.301-08:00Comments on Live with Flair: A Very Public Failure for My DaughterHeatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15289182682225179442noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-86753802730427782952012-05-22T07:48:13.867-07:002012-05-22T07:48:13.867-07:00 Glad you like this reminder! Glad you like this reminder! LivewithFlairnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-42331424179639870972012-05-22T07:28:05.836-07:002012-05-22T07:28:05.836-07:00great reminder. it's my son's guitar recit...great reminder. it's my son's guitar recital on Saturday. He's been working really hard...and it's so true that our significance does not lie in our performance but in who we are in Christ! so, whether my boy misses out on a note or two as he plucks the strings...i would still let him know that we love him just the same!Marife Palimanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-85195519101748151222011-05-02T08:44:06.349-07:002011-05-02T08:44:06.349-07:00It's funny that I just read this blog entry to...It's funny that I just read this blog entry today. Not an hour before, I heard a Mozart piece that I played--and flubbed--at a piano recital when I was fourteen. I can't hear that piece now without thinking of my failure. It's a shame, too, because I loved it once. I don't want that lingering self-loathing for your daughter, and I am hopeful that you were able to reclaim and reshape that happening for her. What a great way to re-define the whole purpose of a recital and restore her confidence. Brava!Jessica Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15491008792321022118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-12424374223444656532011-03-07T01:28:30.207-08:002011-03-07T01:28:30.207-08:00Sally and anonymous hopefully do not have children...Sally and anonymous hopefully do not have children. The child knew she failed already. Having the parent beat her up for it wouldn't change that. The child needs to know that she's loved whether she rises to any particular challenge or not. <br /><br />Pushing a child to do something they aren't ready to do will most likely turn the off of doing it at all in the future. How silly to make the child hate piano perhaps and quit just because she wasn't able to perform in public yet. Some people don't like to perform in public. That doesn't mean that they can't make a joyful noise!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-11110602294621201432011-03-06T13:58:30.412-08:002011-03-06T13:58:30.412-08:00I agree. Your child failed and you failed to teac...I agree. Your child failed and you failed to teach a life lesson by coddling her. Kids have to know it's not all roses and rainbows. Sometimes we have to step up and own our failures, not be shielded from the consequences.Sally van Oschhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08544029995408512379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-15992670206366201062011-03-04T07:36:30.492-08:002011-03-04T07:36:30.492-08:00Your child failed, and so did you.
Performing und...Your child failed, and so did you.<br /><br />Performing under pressure is one of the best lessons that life teaches - if she can't rise to the challnege and give your best when it really counts, her life will be full of failure. <br /><br />America as a nation needs to stop coddling kids, or we'll have a nation of losers. Failure is a great teacher, but you have to confront it and not make excuses.<br /><br />Living with flair is about performing and getting the job done.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-65545132457116018832011-03-04T05:10:44.212-08:002011-03-04T05:10:44.212-08:00Wow, I followed you here from your comment on the ...Wow, I followed you here from your comment on the NYT's article on self-compassion and this is such a wonderful story. As someone who loves to perform in front of others and is talented at I don't think I even realized how much I equate my self worth with how "good" or effective my performance is until reading this. What a great life experience for your daughter, I've learned a lot from reading about how you as a parent and your daughter's entire community reacted to her inability to perform in that moment. Thanks so much for sharing!Jacquelinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16439450014430654418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-11372613181403822011-03-03T05:01:23.665-08:002011-03-03T05:01:23.665-08:00Just found your blog through your comment on the N...Just found your blog through your comment on the NYT article <br />Love your blog and really loved this storyFloortime Lite Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-77605251149533976822011-03-01T11:17:46.364-08:002011-03-01T11:17:46.364-08:00I just recently "found" your blog and so...I just recently "found" your blog and so many of your posts resonate with me. As a pianist myself and the mother of a son who plays piano, I can relate to this so much. He would rather not perform most of the time. And I keep saying I just want him to enjoy music. This was reassurance that I'm on the right track. Thank you.Debbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13004661204964281675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-75238549917983353812011-03-01T10:49:15.667-08:002011-03-01T10:49:15.667-08:00even my all time favorite pianist, glenn gould, wa...even my all time favorite pianist, glenn gould, was terrifed of playing in public and absolutely hated it. i'm definitely with you-- its not all about performance!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-12006434951361938682011-03-01T02:08:27.133-08:002011-03-01T02:08:27.133-08:00As a former Olympian, who publicly "failed&qu...As a former Olympian, who publicly "failed" on national television, now raising two daughters, this post resonates on so many ways. Thanks for sharing.Betsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03146269455952869492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-29053237196386483172011-02-28T13:02:57.384-08:002011-02-28T13:02:57.384-08:00Wow, thanks for the heartwarming post. The love of...Wow, thanks for the heartwarming post. The love of community -- what an uplifting message. Thank you!Michelle DeRushahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00359712465784943599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-44775695758534324122011-02-28T08:47:29.899-08:002011-02-28T08:47:29.899-08:00We love you no matter what!
love,
Aunt Melissa :)We love you no matter what!<br />love,<br />Aunt Melissa :)Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16143573722210582756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-63737340692959993842011-02-27T18:06:27.226-08:002011-02-27T18:06:27.226-08:00Wow, such an encouragement to your daughter, such ...Wow, such an encouragement to your daughter, such a learning experience for us all. All too often I am tempted to find my worth in my performance. Those calls from friends were like the voice of God to me: it was never about the performance.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-70028246695089525012011-02-27T17:56:15.496-08:002011-02-27T17:56:15.496-08:00If only we could all get over thinking we must per...If only we could all get over thinking we must perform. He just loves us!jeedoohttp://inkindle.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-39117361878593287652011-02-27T17:34:51.116-08:002011-02-27T17:34:51.116-08:00Please give her a hug from me! :)Please give her a hug from me! :)Charityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17265760939830626556noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-13332163594167046162011-02-27T16:26:36.663-08:002011-02-27T16:26:36.663-08:00So powerful. Both of your daughters are beautiful...So powerful. Both of your daughters are beautiful and wonderful creatures exactly the way they are. Sometimes you just gotta let the music fill you up and pour out of ya, but sometimes it just wants to lie still within. And that's okay too. Very nice entryMeg McGintyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01323828915463732424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-50049050164550434682011-02-27T15:24:49.969-08:002011-02-27T15:24:49.969-08:00How wonderful that your daughter's "suppo...How wonderful that your daughter's "support system" let her know that they support HER - no matter what! I'm glad she agreed to let you share the story.<br /><br /><br />DiannaDiannahttp://www.thesedaysofmine.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-9053812884360301572011-02-27T14:14:40.250-08:002011-02-27T14:14:40.250-08:00Heather:
I have been "stalking" your blo...Heather:<br />I have been "stalking" your blog for a couple of weeks, but today I had no choice but to comment!<br /><br />I have been, since I was a little girl, someone who thought it was my performance that made me acceptable.<br /><br />I am just NOW, at age 49 (and holding:) realizing that I need to separate my WHO from my DO. I am just now learning who I really am in Christ! <br /><br />I want to commend you, as a parent, for teaching your daughter this very valuable lesson at an early age!<br /><br />God's Blessings,<br />Denise V.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-32833024066192516252011-02-27T13:58:57.996-08:002011-02-27T13:58:57.996-08:00Great post! We too often confuse our worth with o...Great post! We too often confuse our worth with our performance. You're right -- the earlier we can learn this this isn't the truth, the better.Robin Kramerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09902099859770996417noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486740904602696078.post-65010076663472234452011-02-27T12:49:56.997-08:002011-02-27T12:49:56.997-08:00Wonderfully touching and a good affirmation. Good...Wonderfully touching and a good affirmation. Good for you as parents for protecting her as she dealt with her feelings, and good for those outside the family for reaching out to make sure your daughter knows that they, too, truly value her for herself. "It doesn't bother her anymore" precisely because all of you did those things. The outcome could easily have been so different and echoed down her life as a negative - which it should never be! Thank you for a wonderful post.jenny_onoreply@blogger.com