Tuesday, March 5, 2013

"Just Pretend You Meant to Do It and Keep Going"

I love my daughters' piano teacher. This is the same amazing woman who called my daughter after her public failure at Barnes and Noble to tell her that playing piano is not about performance. Right after that embarrassment, my oldest went on to perform in talent shows and play piano with absolute joy. The goal isn't performance, and that's made all the difference. In fact, music exploded in her life after that day; she's incorporated singing, bongo drums, the flute, and she's saving money for a piccolo and a guitar.

Now my youngest--who loves perfection and fears failure--began her lessons like her big sister. Today, she wants to play a duet for me with her teacher. She misses a note and freezes. The teacher quickly says, "If that happens, just pretend you meant to do it and keep going."

So she does. With joy. With absolute joy.

video

The teacher's method reminds me of Lewis Thomas' essay, "The Wonderful Mistake," in which he reconsiders the word failure. When a student fears failure, she freezes and creativity stops. When she sees failure as that beautiful journey towards progress--towards music making in the fullest sense of the phrase--she'll move forward with absolute joy.

Pretend you meant it and just keep going.

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I love hearing music in my home since I didn't grow up taking music lessons. Did you grow up in a musical home?

4 comments:

elaine said...

a lovely duet, i miss hearing my grown daughter as a 6 yo playing the piano

Toni said...

Heather I can so relate to your youngest daughter as that fear of failure has haunted me and I have had to learn to do exactly what her piano teacher says...it drives me to help my students over come their own fears and to not let that fear hold them back. Music is such a wonderful gift to give to your children! Enjoy!

juliana said...

Tell your daughter she did a wonderful job! What a blessing to have the freedom to work through the fear of failure at her age...

LivewithFlair said...

I will! Thank you!