Years ago, I read a parenting book about the power of the one word reminder. Instead of spouting out long, elaborate directions to children, especially in times of transition (leaving for school, going to bed), you simply call out the one word reminder.
Shoes!
The single reminder houses an entire narrative: the child remembers now to get her jeans on, put on her socks, and find her shoes. She doesn't need my monologue. One word does it.
As I thought about the power of one word to invoke a whole series of commands, and how that one word gets a child's train of thought back on the right track, I wondered about my own one word commands.
What if I used one word reminders to get my mind where it should be and to realign my heart with the truth? If one word helps children, why can't one word help adults too?
I used a couple on myself today.
In the slopping rain, I call out to myself: flair. Suddenly, I remember to look for it. Later, I use the single word gentle to remind myself to be gracious and gentle with myself and others. I've been known to call out the word "Jesus" to invoke the enormity of the gospel into whatever situation I'm in.
One word triggers--mantras of focus and truth--can reshape the day, get my head out of a muddle, and refocus my heart. We have an entire arsenal of power here. We can apply it right now, that one word reminder, that will change everything.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Belongingness?
I learned last week about the word "belongingness." It's the human need to feel like we belong to a group and that we are part of something greater than ourselves. Right after the basic need for food, water, and shelter, belongingness ranks next in importance.
I think we skip this need and move right onto the need for esteem and self-actualization. We abandon belongingness because it doesn't seem important. And yet, so many of us suffer from profound loneliness and the kind of isolation that drives us to despair. I've seen it with my own eyes.
My students often make comments that they felt like they really "belonged" in my classroom. Feeling like you belong--that you are in the right place, in the right situation, with the right people--might be one of the best feelings in the world. I labor towards this goal for my students; I learn about them, share about myself, and insist on ridiculous name games for the entire semester, long after we know each other.
Vibrant community--lived out in faith and love--fills the soul so deeply. I'm learning that it takes effort to build community. You have to do something: walk kids to school, launch fitness groups, host potlucks, inspire creative project nights, arrange play dates for dads.
One day, you will all feel like you belong to each other. You'll never be the same when you look around you and feel belongingness.
Folks are suffering from a lack of where to belong. Living with flair means I gather as many folks as I can and help them find a place to belong. I don't wait for somebody else to do this work. And before I know it, my heart overflows.
I think we skip this need and move right onto the need for esteem and self-actualization. We abandon belongingness because it doesn't seem important. And yet, so many of us suffer from profound loneliness and the kind of isolation that drives us to despair. I've seen it with my own eyes.
My students often make comments that they felt like they really "belonged" in my classroom. Feeling like you belong--that you are in the right place, in the right situation, with the right people--might be one of the best feelings in the world. I labor towards this goal for my students; I learn about them, share about myself, and insist on ridiculous name games for the entire semester, long after we know each other.
Vibrant community--lived out in faith and love--fills the soul so deeply. I'm learning that it takes effort to build community. You have to do something: walk kids to school, launch fitness groups, host potlucks, inspire creative project nights, arrange play dates for dads.
One day, you will all feel like you belong to each other. You'll never be the same when you look around you and feel belongingness.
Folks are suffering from a lack of where to belong. Living with flair means I gather as many folks as I can and help them find a place to belong. I don't wait for somebody else to do this work. And before I know it, my heart overflows.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
My Daughter's Perspective on Holiday Shopping
We're in a glitzy store, admiring all the ornaments and enjoying the holiday smells. As my children wander down the aisles to observe the dazzling toys, my youngest cries out:
"Mommy! You have got to come see this! It's amazing! Come here right now!" She's calling out to me, weaving in and out of shoppers to pull me to her side. I think she's about to show me some toy--the kind with bells and whistles and a price tag we'll never be able to afford.
Instead, she drags me to. . . nothing. In silence, she points to the floor. There, on the store's carpet, imprinted with the markings of a thousand holiday shoppers' shoes, a rectangular rainbow appears from the perfect configuration of light coming through the window through some prism I cannot see.
"Look at it. Just look at it!" She moves her feet and hands within the rainbow, and I do the same. The light on our skin makes us blaze with a spectrum of colors. She's filled with wonder at this rainbow on the floor.
It cost me nothing.
"Mommy! You have got to come see this! It's amazing! Come here right now!" She's calling out to me, weaving in and out of shoppers to pull me to her side. I think she's about to show me some toy--the kind with bells and whistles and a price tag we'll never be able to afford.
Instead, she drags me to. . . nothing. In silence, she points to the floor. There, on the store's carpet, imprinted with the markings of a thousand holiday shoppers' shoes, a rectangular rainbow appears from the perfect configuration of light coming through the window through some prism I cannot see.
"Look at it. Just look at it!" She moves her feet and hands within the rainbow, and I do the same. The light on our skin makes us blaze with a spectrum of colors. She's filled with wonder at this rainbow on the floor.
It cost me nothing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)