Believing the Best about Each Other

Remember in May when I believed that my children would destroy a wedding ceremony?  Remember how I doubted them and judged them?  I refused to believe the best.

I learned the power of believing the best that day.  Lately, we've been teaching our children to believe the best about their friends.  Instead of criticism, suspicion, or judgement, believe the best about them.

Years ago, a wise mentor told me that this was the secret to a great marriage.  "Always believe the best about each other," she cautioned, "and speak about the great things you believe about each other."

So we do.  Sometimes I forget, so I call my husband and tell him.  Sometimes I forget with my own children, so I find them and tell them.  Sometimes, I forget with myself, so I remind myself of all the things God says are true about me. 

I'm learning that folks respond to our feelings about them.  They rise up and meet the standard of beauty, wisdom, kindness, and intelligence we believe for them.  They likewise sink down under the weight of our lack of confidence in them, our criticism, our doubt, and our judgment.

I'm believing the best today.

____________________
Journal:  Who needs to know that you believe the best about them today?

Believing the Best

My daughters were flower girls in a wedding yesterday.   Their job was to follow the bride everywhere, keep their satin dresses clean, and smile.   I envisioned disaster the whole morning.  I could just see my youngest stepping on the bride's train and sending her flying on her face.  I could just picture the oldest one stomping off in protest of having to stand still for the entire ceremony. 

I became a controlling, negative mother as I worried about their performance.  Those girls were going to ruin everything.

I imagined the worst.  I really did. 

But when the moment came, I turned and saw my girls walking perfectly down the aisle, casting rose petals left and right.  When I saw them standing still and smiling for 30 minutes, and when I saw how they gazed at the bride and floated around her like little angels, I felt ashamed at my own lack of faith in them. 

I'm a mom who imagines the worst instead of believing the best.  Something changed in my heart yesterday.  Instead of anticipating their failure, I learned to delight in those little girls.  I want to believe the best from now on.  Not just in parenting, but in marriage and in friendship.  And what about my relationship with God?  Do I believe the best instead of anticipating disaster? 

Living with flair means believing the best about people. 

________________
Journal:  Who needs you to believe the best about him or her?